A New Beginning

Well, I am attempting to start a new blog as I am going to close down the caring bridge website. It has been a wonderful outlet, but now that John is gone it seems like it was more for his illness and his battle. Once I close it down I can also have the journal entries and guestbook entries put into a book. I think that will be neat for the kids when they are older. This website set up here is much more complicated than Caring Bridge so I hope I can figure it out and do it correctly. It may be a learning process. It has been 4 weeks since John died and at times it still does not seem real. I return to work on Monday the 9th. Part of me is looking forward to it because it will keep me busy, but part of me is scared on how I will get everything done at work and school. I know there are many single moms out there that do it every day so I guess I can too!

We went to San Antonio for Halloween and the kids had a good time. Tommy was Bobo Fet (spelling?), Sheridan was an Asian Princess, Rita was Snow White and Miles was a bat. They all looked so cute and got entirely too much candy. I think I am eating more of it then they are. Not a good thing! This is the time that I wish I was one of those people that forgot to eat when they were stressed rather that being the stress eater that I am. It is amazing how good chocolate can make you feel, for a few minutes anyway! But going thru this stressful time and having Halloween happen at the same time is quite convenient! Small candy bars readily available is good and bad!

I have had sick kids this week. Rita had fever on Monday and now today Miles has fever. I took Rita to the doctor just to be safe and she was negative for the flu. Rita seemed to get better in 24 hours so hopefully Miles will be the same. I guess it is good that it happened this week instead of next week when I go back to work. Hopefully we can keep it from Tommy and Sheridan. Other than that life goes on. As much as I want it to rewind 8 months it doesn't work that way. The kids and I have good and bad days. Sometimes good and bad minutes or hours. But we talk about it try to heal. Rita is the hardest right now because she does not understand the concept of death. Last night she said, "when daddy gets better and comes back..." Heartbreaking! I am not sure at what age she will be able to understand the finality of it. I guess time will tell.

Hopefully my first blog was successful and I did not just spend to last 30 minutes typing for nothing!