Tell me it will get easier!

The kids and I decided to put up the Christmas tree tonight. That meant going into the attic and getting down the Christmas boxes. I hate to go in the attic. I have never seen anything up there, but ever since I lived on Ft Sam and there were rats in the attic that had lived there for centuries, I just try to go into any attic as quickly as possible. Well, I got the boxes down OK and we started to set the tree up. The kids fought over who the different ornaments belonged to and it was painful at times to hear the screaming. It got a little better and each child, Miles excluded, took turns putting ornaments on the tree. It was going well until Rita broke an ornament. It may not have been a big deal but it was one of the two ornaments that I REALLY cared about. It was an ornament our John and I bought on our Honeymoon! It was a hand painted glass ball of the St. Augustine Lighthouse with 1997 painted on it. I started crying and Rita started crying since she broke it. Then Tommy and Rita started yelling at Rita for breaking the ornament, which made Rita cry even more. It may seem crazy, but there are so few tangible items that I have of John and the things we did together, it has brought to surface the fact that he is gone and I can't get him back. Just like the ornament he is gone. I sure hope this gets easier. Needless to say the Christmas decorating for the evening is over!